I recently had a conversation with a Hospice patient’s family member.  The patient died, but the death came sooner than the family member was prepared for it to happen.  The family member spoke about a feeling of shock and also a feeling of not knowing what to do next.  I think the “what to do next” step is the one that is most difficult for all of us.  Instinctively we know we have to move forward, but intellectually we just don’t know what the next step is.  We talked for a bit and the person outlined some options that were being considered.  I told the person that even though they felt empty now, they had given their patient the most precious gift anyone can give.  They gave the patient right to die at home, surrounded by loved ones, in a state of dignity.  I pointed out that no matter what happens in the future nothing will ever diminish the value of the love and care that was provided.  I was told that hearing those words were comforting and that having someone who would listen patiently was a great comfort.

We can all gain learning from this conversation.  Being willing to listen patiently when someone is in need allows us to give them a gift beyond monetary cost.  Even after they forget what we said, they will not forget our being present with them.  Who do you know that you can lend the gift of your attentive listening to?  What would have to happen to make you available to them?  Take the next step, reach out and see how you will be allowed to be a vehicle of grace for them by just being there.  Please feel free to post some of your stories in listening as replies to this message.  Together we can encourage each other in the care of others!